The Story of a Christian Mother’s Struggle With Infertility

Greg & Kathy

“Many years ago I struggled with infertility—not being able to have a baby. I wanted so much to be a mother, but a medical issue kept me from being able to get pregnant. I had several surgeries during those years, but nothing worked. For 7 years I prayed for a child. We looked into adopting one little boy during that time, but that didn’t work out.
One day during a time of intense grief, I prayed my heart out to the Lord. I asked Him to please let me know if I was ever going to have a baby. I told Him I could wait if I knew I would eventually have children. During that time of prayer, He gave me this verse:
“O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with sapphires. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones.” Isaiah 54:11-12
When I read this verse, I felt it was the voice of God speaking to me. He was saying to me, “You don’t need to know whether or not you will have a baby. What you need to know is that I am building your life. When I build, I will use the most beautiful materials that exist. Your life will be built on precious gemstones I place into your life that reflect beauty from Me. You need to simply trust Me and believe that I love you and I am Good. I will do what is best for you.”
It was like a light went on—I could believe God and surrender the situation to Him. I gave Him my desire to have babies, I gave Him my life, and decided I would believe and trust Him to do what is best for me.
This verse in Isaiah has since become my life verse that God gave me. I have turned to this verse in any and every trial and difficulty I’ve faced. I know that He is building my life, laying the foundation with precious gemstones that shine and reflect His beauty.
Just a couple weeks ago, I was reading Watchman Nee’s book, Changed Into His Likeness. I came across the following passage that was another word from God:
“And in Revelation 21:19, 21 we read that ‘the foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with all manner of precious stones;…and the twelve gates were twelve pearls;…and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
God’s purpose for mankind is not just gold, but precious stones. Gold surely represents that which is of God, which proceeds from the Father. Silver stands for the redemption that is in Christ, his free gift of grace. Precious stones are the work of the Spirit. Stones are not elements, they are compounds. They are formed through fire, then cut. This is a figure of the Spirit’s discipline; through much suffering , difficulty, sorrow, through stress of circumstances, we are made into gem stones. In the new Jerusalem there is no mention of silver at all; all has become precious stones.
God is looking for a vessel for the meeting of his need and the carrying out of his wondrous purpose. Such a vessel must know the God of Abraham, that all is from him alone—gold. It must know the God of Isaac, that all is his gift in Christ-silver. It must know too the God of Jacob, the Spirit’s dealing with the natural man that works Christ into the being—precious stones.”
God showed me that, as stones are perfected in fire and cut, so for God to build my life with precious gemstones, that I will need to do through suffering, difficulty, sorrow, and stress of circumstances. I can know and believe that when I suffer pain that God is working to build those gemstones in my life.
Back to the verse in Isaiah—yes, God is building my life with precious stones, and doing so will require pain and suffering. Yet God’s hand is in it all—and He loves me and He is good. He will do only in my life that which is for my best good, and I can trust Him.
What a liberating truth! There is NOTHING I can’t trust Him with. I can believe Him in all circumstances and situations. He is LORD!!!”

Written by Kathy Frezza


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